Time to get out of the way

Todd and I talked about how we were going to handle the morning madness before I officially changed my work schedule.  I have to be at work at 7AM and that really means that Todd should handle setting his own alarm, getting the kids up and dressed, feeding the kids, and dropping them off at school.  Morning sucks, the kids never want to get out of bed, they definitely don't want to get dressed, and getting them out the door can easily be the most frustrating part of the day.  Because morning sucks I feel really bad for leaving Todd alone to deal with it all.  So, I started trying to figure out how to pack their lunches, wake Todd up, get the kids out of bed, get them dressed, and at least get them started with breakfast.  The problem with this is that I just don't have time to do it.  So, when I try to get them up and they take an extra few minutes I get grumpy, and when they whine about getting dressed I get stressed, and when they won't just brush their teeth I want to stomp my feet on the ground like a little kid.  By the time we all get downstairs I'm totally worked up and at least one of the kids is usually whining.  I can't deal with whining on a good day so when I'm stressed and just want to get out the door it seriously makes me want to bang my head against the wall -so when I hear the whining I get more stressed and my stress definitely doesn't help with the whining... What is Todd doing during all this time?  He's just trying to stay out of my way.  And that usually makes me edgy too because I know I can't do it all myself.

Starting this week I'm going to stay out of the way in the morning.  There is no reason for me to "help Todd", he's perfectly capable of dealing with things, has the time, and would be much happier if I just got out of the way.  So for the past 2 mornings, I've gotten home from the gym, taken and shower, woken everyone up, and basically went about my own business.  I told the kids when I was going downstairs, but didn't tell them they had to come with me, didn't remind them 5-10 times to get dressed, didn't tell them to brush their teeth, etc... to my surprise, both kids were dressed and ready to come downstairs with me both mornings.  Within 5 minutes of walking downstairs I was out the door with a coffee (made by Todd) in hand.  And guess what? Everyone was fine, better than fine, they were all happy and not at all stressed out.  -And if I'm honest with myself, they were all happy because I stayed out of the way.  I have a pretty fabulous partner in Todd so why am I trying to do it all on my own?

The Week Off

Every weekday my alarm goes off at 4:30AM, I jump out of bed, get dressed, hop in the car and am at the gym by 4:45.  At exactly 6AM I have to leave the gym.  At 6:10AM I have to be in the shower.  At 6:30AM my husband's alarm goes off and the kids have to get up.  At 6:45 we all go downstairs where my husband has to make my coffee and I have to be out the door at 6:52AM.  At 7:00AM I am sitting at my desk at work.  This is where I'll remain until 2:55PM when I have to leave to pick up my son from his school.  He and I run home, he washes his hands, we grab a snack, get in the car, and drive across town to pick up Lena.  Lena  jumps up and down when she sees Jun and I, grabs our hands, and asks why I pick up Jun before her.  Most days we drive back across town to our house.  We all run in the house, wash our hands, fix a snack, unpack backpacks and clean out lunch boxes.  It's usually about 3:30 - 4:00PM at this point and I still need to do log back into my computer and do a little more work, usually I'm logged in and working for about 1- 1 ½ hours.  After that, the kids and I spend about ½ - ¾ of an hour walking/running/biking around the neighborhood.  Then it's time to get back home to make dinner and force the kids to set the table.  Todd comes home at about 6:15PM and we have to eat the moment he walks in if we have any hope of avoiding the evening meltdowns.  We finish dinner by 7:00PM, clear the table and do homework.  This usually takes us until about 7:30PM and now it's time to get the kids ready for bed, read books, and then get the kids into bed as close to 8:00PM as possible.  Once the kids go to bed  it's time to clean up the dishes and get clothes and lunches ready for the next day.  With any luck, this is all finished by 9:00PM and I can keep my eyes open for long enough to chat with my husband for about ½ hour before falling asleep.  That's all the normal stuff, we also have days when we go to art class, meet other kids for play dates, meet our Chinese Friendship student, or run errands.  We have days when we don't have any food in the house and we have to go out to eat, and then there are days when it's just too nice outside, and we cannot possibly sit inside after coming home. 

 

I'm lucky, I live just a few minutes from work, Jun's school is behind the house, and I can do some of my work from home.  Couple this with the fact that we don't have the kids enrolled in a ton of activities and Todd and I are actually among the lucky ones, our lives are pretty calm comparatively speaking.  So, if this is true, then why am I SO stressed out all the time?  I'm always overtired. The kids are usually fighting, I have to either beg or scream in order to the kids up in the morning, get them dressed, get them to the breakfast table, get them to brush their teeth, or pretty much anything else I'd like them to do.  I'm always worried about getting my work done, not being in the office enough, what to pack for lunches, what to make for dinner, paying the bills on time, cleaning the house, getting the kids to do their homework, and just generally keeping it all together.   I am always stressed out.  I am always thinking about what should be done and what isn't being done.  And feeling stressed out all the time makes me more tired, more jumpy, and more grumpy…  So, I've made a decision.  I'm taking the week off.  It started today.  I'm not leaving town, I'm not leaving my house, the kids aren’t  leaving, my husband isn't leaving, and I'll still be at work.  But I'm taking a week off from all the stress. 

 

 

A Letter to Jun

9/21/2013

Dear Jun,                                                                                            

You were so worried about moving to a new town and starting 1^st grade, I was so worried about moving to a new town and having you start 1^st grade.  After your first few weeks of school, I am so proud of you, Jun.  I realize mothers say that all the time to their children and I realize most of the time they probably mean it, but I feel like I hear the phrase often enough that when I write, “I am proud of you”, it probably doesn’t mean all that I want it to mean.  It probably doesn’t mean , “I want nothing more in this world than to hug you and squeeze you when I see your excited smile as you come running out the front door of the school at the end of day”, it probably doesn’t mean, "my heart is bursting when I listen to you chatter about how much you love your art class”, and it probably doesn’t mean,” you’ve come so far in just a few weeks and after all you’ve experienced in your little life I can’t believe I’m looking at such a well-adjusted, bright, happy, joyful, and thoroughly engaged little boy whom I truly love more than life itself”,  all of that is what I mean when I say, “I am proud of you, Jun”.  You have thrived in the first few weeks of school  and I cannot wait to see how you continue to progress as your school career goes on.

Love you!

Mommy

Dinner

I've read that it's important for kids to know where their food comes from. I've also read that should help with dinner preparation as much as possible. I can't really remember why or how , but both things had something to do avoiding childhood obesity. I want my kids to help when I make dinner, but it has nothing to do with health or fighting obesity, I want them to help because some of my fondest memories are of the times I spent in the kitchen with my mom. I always thought I was helping her, but now that I have my own children I can see that my washing the broccoli probably meant my mom had to wipe up the puddle I made on the floor while doing it or that my adding the chopped veggies to the salad probably meant my mom cleaned up the tomatoes and carrots that were thrown on the floor and all around the salad bowl. Sure having help from small kids requires more actual work, but that extra time we get to spend together makes the extra little bit of work so worth the effort. And the other added bonus is that Lena actually eats broccoli when she can say she "made" it! (Maybe that's the part that makes experts say kids preparing dinner helps fight childhood obesity).

Cleanup

Sent from my iPhone"Cleanup, cleanup, cleanup", the kids sang this morning as the actually cleaned the house. Lena is a star cleaner and is almost always willing and wanting to help, but Jun has never felt that way until today. I've gotta figure how to keep this new habit fun for them because it was great for Todd and I!

Kids

Little dolls

For so many reasons, I just love this picture! Lena loves her Djaju and doesn't see a reason in the world why he wouldn't spend all day playing dolls with her.