Making Eggs

My sister started making her eggs when she was 3 years old.  She got them out of the refrigerator, scrambled them, and then cooked them.  -I never thought much of that until I became a parent and thought about how badly I wanted Jun to stay away from the hot stove AND how much more time it would take to have him "do it himself" than if I (usually Todd) just did myself.  -But Jun is finally starting to want to become more independent so he now makes his own eggs.  He does a good job at 6 yrs, but my sister made her own eggs at age 3?  If I couldn't remember it so clearly I wouldn't believe it was true.

It Snowed

Lena was amazingly excited to come home from daycare yesterday and see fresh snow!  I couldn't get her to put the shovel down and come in the house. (BTW, that's not a giant snot coming out of her nose, it's a snowflake that came out sort of strange in the picture)

Jun on the other hand saw the snow, told me he was cold, and asked if he could go inside.

Can you guess which child is from cold Inner Mongolia and has been home with us for 2 winter seasons and which child came home with us just 6 weeks ago and is from super warm Guangzhou?

Bath Time

Jun loves to take a bath.  He hops in as often as we permit and stays as long as we allow.  He fills the tub with toys, he plays, sings, and floats, and only gets out after he’s thoroughly pruned and all the water has drained after we pull the plug on him. 

  Lena also loves the bathtub, but generally gets in, plays for a few minutes, gets the job done, and then hops out.  Lena is never in the tub long enough for her hands or feet to prune.   But then one day last week she got in the tub and started playing and didn’t want to get out.  So, we let her stay in and stay in and stay in…. and then suddenly she looked down at her hands and they were shriveled up!  And she jumped out of the tub as quickly as possible.  She kept looking at Todd and I and looking at her hands and feet and looking back at Todd and I and then looking at her hands at feet… I’m not sure what she thought had happened to her, but she didn’t see any humor in the situation and she has not stayed in the tub for more than a few minutes at a time since.   When we showed her Jun’s shriveled feet and hands a couple nights ago she was not humored, she was concerned.  And when Jun, Todd, and I all laughed at her concerned reaction to Jun’s feet, she looked at us like we were crazy.  Poor kid, she’s never gonna dare to spend more than 5 minutes at time in the tub again.  

Little Girl Clothes

Todd: "Okay, Lena's dressed and ready to go."
Jun: (Runs in Lena's room to check things out). "Mommy, how come Lena gets to wear pajamas to church?"
Me: "no one wears pjs to church, what are you talking about?"
Jun: "Look at her!" He says in disgust as I walk in the room.
Me: "Todd, you got her dressed alright, but you got her dressed in her pjs!"

Todd's having a tough time figuring out all the little girl clothes we now have in the house.

Happy Birthday Jun!

I'm super happy to dress in sweatpants everyday.  Jun's super happy to dress in sweatpants everyday.  Todd's super happy to wear jeans everyday.  None of have any bit of  fashion sense, we dress for comfort.  When we bought Lena her clothes I sort of assumed she would feel the same way, but as it turns out she's pretty happy to dress in little dresses everyday.  Not always frilly, she also likes little overall dresses and jersey dresses, but on occasion she picks some wildly... well, wildly frilly outfits.  She picked this one out yesterday, but had to take the skirt off later in the day because it was itchy.  (And, she thought nothing of ripping the skirt right off and handing it to me while we were in the middle of the Dr's office)

The other day I left Todd and Lena alone while I went for a run and Jun was at school.  I came home and found them sitting at the table together.  I thought it was too cute to NOT take a picture.

Jun has not stopped burping in 7 weeks.  He doesn't just burp every once in a while, he burps all day long, into the nigh, and first thing in the morning...all day and night long.  I asked our regular Dr. about it, but she didn't seem concerned, blamed it on stress.  I felt like it was more than that, so I called my "witch Dr".  Jun went to see her a couple of days ago.  Turns out he has parasites (quite common in children adopted from China, we should have had him checked for it 2 years ago) and a hiatial hernial.  Very correctable and I'm pretty sure Jun LOVED the attention.  

Of course, Lena cannot be outdone, so she insisted on hopping on the table too.  I think she was disappointed to learn that nothing is wrong with her.

Lena loved day 3 of her daycare career.  I arrived to pick her up after 1 1/2, but all she did was tell me she didn't want to leave.  And who could blame her, she was playing with Mr. Potato Head... so we stayed for an extra hour and then I forced her to leave because I had things to do at home.

Todd's not feeling well today so he tried to lay down on the couch for a little rest.  Lena wanted to help him so she gave him a blanket, took his shoes off, gave him a stuffed animal, and then tried to take his temp.








The other day I let Jun pick out what he wanted for dinner.  He's only 5 so of course I was more than a bit hesitant, but I also thought one meal of junk wouldn't hurt him.  After looking through all his choices he finally put together a plate of greens... and a side of kielbasa.  He loved it, but I'm not sure Lena felt the same way.

On the way to school

Headed out for a long walk

More transitions

Ideally Lena would stay with me for the next 6 months or more, but I have to be back at work by Feb. 4 so we have to start transitioning Lena into daycare immediately.  Today was day 2 of Lena’s new life as a daycare kid.  Yesterday went too well, today… not quite as great.  Jun goes to school in the same building where Lena will go so we’ve been bringing her in each day when we drop Jun off so that she will have a chance to get comfortable with the building, kids, and teachers -and so that she will hopefully understand that we bring Jun to school in the morning and then pick him up at night (no chance of being left there) .  

I think she was shocked yesterday when we dropped her off.  We took off her jacket, hat, mittens, and boots…before she knew it we all said good-bye (including Jun) and pretty much ran away.  Todd and I took Jun back up to his classroom and gave him a big hug and then thanked him for helping Lena feel comfortable.  Then we walked back down to the school office and sat and watched Lena on the video camera for a while.  She sat with one of the teachers and played for close to 45 minutes, she didn’t cry, she didn’t openly laugh or jump or dance, but she sat there and didn’t cry –until about 45 minutes had gone by and Todd and I thought it was time to bring her home for day.  Once we walked in and she saw us, she broke down in tears.  We sort of expected this overly relieved reaction so we gave her lots of hugs before bringing her home. 

This morning Todd had to work early so Jun and I brought Lena to school on our own.  In an effort to keep Jun involved, I asked Jun if he would bring Lena into her classroom with me.  Everything was going great until Lena realized what was about to happen.  As soon as we walked up to the classroom door she turned around and said “no, no, no” in a really sad I-can’t-believe-you’re-doing-this-to-me way.  I knelt down, put on a strong happy face, told her it was just for a little while, gave her a big hug, grabbed her jacket, hat, mittens, and boots, and asked Jun to give her a hug too.  He gave her a quick hug, we passed her off to the teacher, and then I told Jun we had to run and not look back.  It was so hard… I’m pretty sure Jun thought I was horrible and a bit crazy, but once we got upstairs to his room I tried to explain that it was easier for her if we didn’t prolong the good-byes.  Jun was very concerned about his little sister and in an odd way the entire scene made me happy because I felt like it gave Jun an opportunity to be the caring big brother. 

After dropping Jun off I went back downstairs to spy on Lena.  She was sobbing, wailing, and calling for me.  I wanted so badly to walk back in the room to get her, but I thought I’d get a little advice from Todd first.  I stood in the hallway and called him and he told me I couldn’t go back in.  He reminded me that it would make things harder for her tomorrow or the next day when we actually have to leave her there.  It took Todd about 2 ½ minutes to talk me out of barging back in the classroom and by the time our conversation had ended Lena had stopped crying.  I had a bit of time to kill and I knew I couldn’t just hang out in the hallway for too long so I went for a run.  I ran 4 ½ miles in record time for me, but it felt like it took forever because I spent the entire time watching the clock to see if I had passed enough time to justify picking Lena up. 

Apparently she was fine while I was gone, but once again wailed with relief when she saw me.  I figured she had had a rough morning so I took her out for a treat and then we hit the road –me on foot and her in her stroller.  It’s her favorite thing to do.  So today we did my 3.2 mile loop.  That's a long time for little kid to just sit.  I thought for sure she’d cry at some point along the way, but she  spent the entire time sitting up straight looking around (and enjoyed my constant conversation, I'm sure).  The only time she cried was when we arrived back home and I told her she had to get out of the stroller and go back in the house.  If I hadn't bribed her with a piece of kielbasa I'm not sure I would have gotten her in the house. 

It's Puzzle Time

If we made a mistake after adopting Jun it was that we paid him too much attention.  He was the center of our world and there was no doubt about that.  We both woke him up each morning, we both helped him get dressed, we both made his breakfast, we both ate dinner with him, we both got him ready for bed, we both sat with him when it was time for a book at the end of the day… you get the point, we both spent all of our free time making Jun feel special.    

We adopted Lena for many reasons, but the biggest was that we felt like our family was “un-finished” with only one child.  We felt like Jun really needed a sibling.  We knew he was happy with just us, but we also thought he needed more than just the 2 of us in his family.  After China pre-approved our application to adopt Lena I started to worry.  All I kept thinking it, “Jun is gonna freak”.  In many ways he adjusted better than we expected after his adoption, but he is so possessive of us that my mom has joked that she doesn’t usually hug Todd when she sees him for fear that the hug may upset Jun.  

I know Jun wants to want to be a big brother, I can see him trying to like being a big brother, but then his sister squeezes her way onto my lap by pushing him over a little and he just freaks out.  He wants her gone, he wants his mother back, his toys back, his house back… She doesn’t help matters any because she usually grunts at him a bunch of times and then tries to push him off my lap.  This scene turns into a giant grunting/pushing match which then ends in tears for both kids.

I’m told this is all very normal so I’m trying my hardest not to freak out about it.  But I’m also trying to help/force their relationship along by forcing everyone into family activities on a daily basis.  We mostly build puzzles and play games.  I can’t say this has really done anything to help the situation so far.  Jun usually tries to grab puzzle pieces from Lena and she often removes whatever piece he just added, but there are also lots of moments when they forget to fight and just work together so for now I’m going to keep forcing the family/team building exercises each night :)

A little help from big brother

It's such a beautiful day today that Lena and I decided to take a long walk.   Before we did that, I thought I’d dig the stroller out to just see what she’d think.  She practically jumped for joy when she saw it and before I knew it, she threw herself in the seat and then tried to move the stroller forward by leaning forward and sort of pulling herself.  She made it jump a bit, but knew she needed me to really get going.  “Mama, help, help,Mama” she yelled with a huge smile on her face.  So off we went.   

It’s snowy outside and most of the sidewalks are at least partially covered by snow so a stroller ride isn’t smooth or relaxing.  Lena reacted best when I hit the slushy bumpy areas so I tried to search them out.  Before long, Lena realized what I was doing so she helped point me in the proper direction by screaming, “Mama! Mama!” and pointing her little mitten covered hand in the right direction. 

 I know that she doesn’t understand most of what I say, but I talk to Lena all the time.  I try to insert her name and the names of our immediate and extended family members into the “conversation” on a regular basis.  I also try to use words she knows in hopes that she’ll listen enough to know I’m talking to her and maybe even learn a few more words. 

It’s really not as easy to hold these sorts of conversations as one might think. 

“Lena CuiFeng, did you know that it’s WARM today so that’s why we’re taking a long WALK?  I bet it’s even WARMer down South today so Auntie Nicole, Uncle Mike, and Nai Nai and Pop Pop also might be OUTSIDE taking WALKS.  Or maybe you, Lena CuiFeng, think it’s COLD today, is it COLD?  Are you COLD Lena CuiFeng?”

“No”

“Are you okay? Should we keep WALKing or go HOME?”  I say this while motioning toward home.

“Okay”

“Okay, keep going?” 

“okay, kipging” she responds while laughing (attempting to say keep going although I’m not very certain she knows what that means).

So, I move on and change the subject a little, “Lena CuiFeng, did you know Mommy LOVES to RUN?”

No response, but I make it clear that it’s a question by repeating myself and stopping to wait for a response.

“Yes” she nods quickly only because she knows I won’t move again until she responds.

“Yes, Mommy LOVES to RUN.  I’m pretty slow, but you know who used to be much faster than me is Uncle Mike, Djaju, and Auntie Nicole. Yep, pretty much everyone in our family used to run.  I bet you, Lena CuiFeng will also RUN someday”. 

And on and on the conversation goes like that.  We walked for exactly 58 minutes today… that’s a lot of one-sided conversation, but I sort of felt like she was understanding a little, almost like we were having a conversation.  Every few minutes I stopped the conversation and the walk to ask her if she was cold and every few minutes she shook her head and said no and made a motion that indicated that I should continue walking.  When the walk was over and she climbed out of the stroller, she threw her hands in the air and started screaming, "cold, cold, cold!", proving that the conversation I thought we were almost having really was as one-sided as it probably sounded.  

-Words in CAPS are the ones Lena understands

Jun spends a lot of time complaining about his sister.  I think he likes the idea of having a sister, but he doesn’t necessarily like the reality of having this little girl in his way all the time.  She plays with his toys, she copies everything he does, and she even expects him to share his parents.  She cries a lot, requires lots of attention, and plays with his toys (did I mention that already?).  Basically, Jun has a very low tolerance for anything Lena does.  If she touches him wrong, he yells at her, if she touches me too much he yells at her, if she swings a toy incorrectly he yells at her, etc…

Last night at dinner we had a moment of panic when, for no apparent reason, Lena suddenly jumped out of her seat, landed on Jun, AND dumped his entire cup of water all over his chest and lap.  Jun suddenly had a reason to yell at his sister, so what happened?

Well, Todd and I burst out in laughter.

Lena panicked, stopped in her tracks, stuck her finger in her mouth and braced herself.

Jun stood up in his chair looked at his wet pants, pointed his finger at his sister, and yelled, “you platypus!” 

Todd and I started laughing even harder, Lena looked even more scared, and Jun… well, he must have realized how strange it was to call someone a platypus, so he laughed too as he told Lena it was ok.  And then the situation was over like it had never even happened.  Jun doesn't seem to know it, but he missed his golden opportunity to yell at his sister without hearing a word from Todd and I. 

What do you do when it's 5 degrees outside?
Put on some gloves, sit under Nona's blanket, and eat Popsicles

Christmas was over a week ago now and Todd and I have both tried to write some perfect post to let my parents know how thankful we are for all they did to make sure we had a beautiful Christmas.  I’m finally sitting here realizing I should probably just say thank you and forget about trying to make my thank you some big sappy, you-guys-are-so-great perfect thing.  We all had a magical Christmas and it would not have happened without my parents.

We were totally ill-prepared and in no condition to prepare for Christmas when we returned just a few days prior to the big day.  Thankfully when we arrived home we found that my parents had purchased and put up a small tree that was just waiting for the kids to decorate.  My parents made sure there was plenty of food in the house, they had cleaned the house, fed the cats, prepared Christmas cookies, and had even informed Santa that Lena would be with us so her stocking was full of her favorite toys on Christmas morning.  Then, as if that wasn’t all enough, they not only did all the shopping for Christmas dinner, but then my mom did all the cooking too!  

Our first few days back from China are a big blur.  I was over-tired, overwhelmed, and jet-lagged, it is not an exaggeration at all to say that my parents made it possible for us to have Christmas.
Lena was shocked and delighted with the day, Jun jumped for joy, and Todd and I were able to relax and enjoy the kids.  I’m grateful that my parents made the day possible and I’m even more grateful that that they were able to be there to share the day with us! 

Some of what we've been up to

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!  I'm glad to say good-bye to 2012 and happy to say hello to new beginnings and 2013.  Our 2012 went fine, but I felt like I was in limbo for the entire year while waiting to hear news about any progress that may have been made in the adoption.  As 2013 starts I can honestly sit back and say that my family is complete.  It's a wonderful feeling. 

Of course, we have a lot of work to do before we can call ourselves a cohesive family.  Things have gone remarkably well, but as of now our days and nights are pretty much an endless string of figuring out breakfast, getting the kids dressed, finding a morning activity of some sort, dealing with lunch, nap time, afternoon snack, some sort of afternoon activity, then it's time for dinner, clean up, pjs, and then off to bed.  Bed isn't really the end of the day because it usually requires getting up 1-4 times a night to deal with bathroom runs and then back to bed.  In the middle of all of this are the endless arguments centered around jealousy and anger, countless discussions about the need to listen and respond, numerous  debates about appropriate behavior, and the constant need to clean up after one of the meals or activities.  I know, lots of people would say this is normal and occurs in most families, but I'm hoping what we're seeing is much more extreem than what we will see in the future. 

I don't mean the above description to suggest that we don't also have our joyful moments.  There are plenty of those.  Jun hugs his sister regularly, Lena laughs throughout much of the day, and Todd and I find a great deal of what the kids do to be extremely entertaining.  All-in-all things are going amazingly well.  But on a day when bathrooms runs and nightmares meant I was awake for more hours last night than I was asleep and Jun demonstrated his new-found inability to listen or behave by somehow hopping over the 4 ft. snowbank and straight into the oncoming traffic I'm sort of longing for a calm, content filled day. 

So, for 2013 my goal is to achieve contentment, contentment for our entire family.   I hope Jun can learn to enjoy his sister, I hope his sister can learn to enjoy her new parents as well as her big brother, and I hope Todd and I can calm down enough to enjoy the fabulous family life we have.  By New Year's Eve next year I hope the 4 of us are able to sit on the couch, play games, watch movies, and ring in the New Year with the feeling of satisfaction.