It's such a beautiful day today that Lena and I decided to take a long walk.   Before we did that, I thought I’d dig the stroller out to just see what she’d think.  She practically jumped for joy when she saw it and before I knew it, she threw herself in the seat and then tried to move the stroller forward by leaning forward and sort of pulling herself.  She made it jump a bit, but knew she needed me to really get going.  “Mama, help, help,Mama” she yelled with a huge smile on her face.  So off we went.   

It’s snowy outside and most of the sidewalks are at least partially covered by snow so a stroller ride isn’t smooth or relaxing.  Lena reacted best when I hit the slushy bumpy areas so I tried to search them out.  Before long, Lena realized what I was doing so she helped point me in the proper direction by screaming, “Mama! Mama!” and pointing her little mitten covered hand in the right direction. 

 I know that she doesn’t understand most of what I say, but I talk to Lena all the time.  I try to insert her name and the names of our immediate and extended family members into the “conversation” on a regular basis.  I also try to use words she knows in hopes that she’ll listen enough to know I’m talking to her and maybe even learn a few more words. 

It’s really not as easy to hold these sorts of conversations as one might think. 

“Lena CuiFeng, did you know that it’s WARM today so that’s why we’re taking a long WALK?  I bet it’s even WARMer down South today so Auntie Nicole, Uncle Mike, and Nai Nai and Pop Pop also might be OUTSIDE taking WALKS.  Or maybe you, Lena CuiFeng, think it’s COLD today, is it COLD?  Are you COLD Lena CuiFeng?”

“No”

“Are you okay? Should we keep WALKing or go HOME?”  I say this while motioning toward home.

“Okay”

“Okay, keep going?” 

“okay, kipging” she responds while laughing (attempting to say keep going although I’m not very certain she knows what that means).

So, I move on and change the subject a little, “Lena CuiFeng, did you know Mommy LOVES to RUN?”

No response, but I make it clear that it’s a question by repeating myself and stopping to wait for a response.

“Yes” she nods quickly only because she knows I won’t move again until she responds.

“Yes, Mommy LOVES to RUN.  I’m pretty slow, but you know who used to be much faster than me is Uncle Mike, Djaju, and Auntie Nicole. Yep, pretty much everyone in our family used to run.  I bet you, Lena CuiFeng will also RUN someday”. 

And on and on the conversation goes like that.  We walked for exactly 58 minutes today… that’s a lot of one-sided conversation, but I sort of felt like she was understanding a little, almost like we were having a conversation.  Every few minutes I stopped the conversation and the walk to ask her if she was cold and every few minutes she shook her head and said no and made a motion that indicated that I should continue walking.  When the walk was over and she climbed out of the stroller, she threw her hands in the air and started screaming, "cold, cold, cold!", proving that the conversation I thought we were almost having really was as one-sided as it probably sounded.  

-Words in CAPS are the ones Lena understands

Jun spends a lot of time complaining about his sister.  I think he likes the idea of having a sister, but he doesn’t necessarily like the reality of having this little girl in his way all the time.  She plays with his toys, she copies everything he does, and she even expects him to share his parents.  She cries a lot, requires lots of attention, and plays with his toys (did I mention that already?).  Basically, Jun has a very low tolerance for anything Lena does.  If she touches him wrong, he yells at her, if she touches me too much he yells at her, if she swings a toy incorrectly he yells at her, etc…

Last night at dinner we had a moment of panic when, for no apparent reason, Lena suddenly jumped out of her seat, landed on Jun, AND dumped his entire cup of water all over his chest and lap.  Jun suddenly had a reason to yell at his sister, so what happened?

Well, Todd and I burst out in laughter.

Lena panicked, stopped in her tracks, stuck her finger in her mouth and braced herself.

Jun stood up in his chair looked at his wet pants, pointed his finger at his sister, and yelled, “you platypus!” 

Todd and I started laughing even harder, Lena looked even more scared, and Jun… well, he must have realized how strange it was to call someone a platypus, so he laughed too as he told Lena it was ok.  And then the situation was over like it had never even happened.  Jun doesn't seem to know it, but he missed his golden opportunity to yell at his sister without hearing a word from Todd and I. 

What do you do when it's 5 degrees outside?
Put on some gloves, sit under Nona's blanket, and eat Popsicles

Christmas was over a week ago now and Todd and I have both tried to write some perfect post to let my parents know how thankful we are for all they did to make sure we had a beautiful Christmas.  I’m finally sitting here realizing I should probably just say thank you and forget about trying to make my thank you some big sappy, you-guys-are-so-great perfect thing.  We all had a magical Christmas and it would not have happened without my parents.

We were totally ill-prepared and in no condition to prepare for Christmas when we returned just a few days prior to the big day.  Thankfully when we arrived home we found that my parents had purchased and put up a small tree that was just waiting for the kids to decorate.  My parents made sure there was plenty of food in the house, they had cleaned the house, fed the cats, prepared Christmas cookies, and had even informed Santa that Lena would be with us so her stocking was full of her favorite toys on Christmas morning.  Then, as if that wasn’t all enough, they not only did all the shopping for Christmas dinner, but then my mom did all the cooking too!  

Our first few days back from China are a big blur.  I was over-tired, overwhelmed, and jet-lagged, it is not an exaggeration at all to say that my parents made it possible for us to have Christmas.
Lena was shocked and delighted with the day, Jun jumped for joy, and Todd and I were able to relax and enjoy the kids.  I’m grateful that my parents made the day possible and I’m even more grateful that that they were able to be there to share the day with us! 

Some of what we've been up to

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!  I'm glad to say good-bye to 2012 and happy to say hello to new beginnings and 2013.  Our 2012 went fine, but I felt like I was in limbo for the entire year while waiting to hear news about any progress that may have been made in the adoption.  As 2013 starts I can honestly sit back and say that my family is complete.  It's a wonderful feeling. 

Of course, we have a lot of work to do before we can call ourselves a cohesive family.  Things have gone remarkably well, but as of now our days and nights are pretty much an endless string of figuring out breakfast, getting the kids dressed, finding a morning activity of some sort, dealing with lunch, nap time, afternoon snack, some sort of afternoon activity, then it's time for dinner, clean up, pjs, and then off to bed.  Bed isn't really the end of the day because it usually requires getting up 1-4 times a night to deal with bathroom runs and then back to bed.  In the middle of all of this are the endless arguments centered around jealousy and anger, countless discussions about the need to listen and respond, numerous  debates about appropriate behavior, and the constant need to clean up after one of the meals or activities.  I know, lots of people would say this is normal and occurs in most families, but I'm hoping what we're seeing is much more extreem than what we will see in the future. 

I don't mean the above description to suggest that we don't also have our joyful moments.  There are plenty of those.  Jun hugs his sister regularly, Lena laughs throughout much of the day, and Todd and I find a great deal of what the kids do to be extremely entertaining.  All-in-all things are going amazingly well.  But on a day when bathrooms runs and nightmares meant I was awake for more hours last night than I was asleep and Jun demonstrated his new-found inability to listen or behave by somehow hopping over the 4 ft. snowbank and straight into the oncoming traffic I'm sort of longing for a calm, content filled day. 

So, for 2013 my goal is to achieve contentment, contentment for our entire family.   I hope Jun can learn to enjoy his sister, I hope his sister can learn to enjoy her new parents as well as her big brother, and I hope Todd and I can calm down enough to enjoy the fabulous family life we have.  By New Year's Eve next year I hope the 4 of us are able to sit on the couch, play games, watch movies, and ring in the New Year with the feeling of satisfaction.