We haven't mentioned the tragic news from home in any of our blog posts.  I've had limited news resources here, but I have been reading the Globe and have spent a bit of time watching CNN.  I haven't mentioned the news because, like many others, I haven't quite processed it.  It's true we have a lot going on, but we, like every other parent in the world, held our children extra tight when the news came out.  So young, so innocent, so much ahead of them.  When thinking of the tragedy, I have found myself near tears listening to Jun scream with enthusiasm as he shares a thought with me.  He brings such joy to my life.  When thinking of the tragedy, I find myself near tears as I watch Lena tilt her back and laugh crazily at something her big brother has done.  She is already bringing indescribably joy to my life.  How would we cope if anything happened to our children?  Something happening to our children is the worst nightmare of every parent and we all do everything in our power to protect them.  I kiss Jun good-bye every morning before leaving for work and on my way out the door the last thing I say every day is, "have a good day, I'll pick you up after work, I love you".  I'm sure many parents say the exact same thing.  It has never crossed my mind that anything other than a bump on the head or an argument with another child might upset his day.  Jun's world is innocent and when I look in eyes and think of the children who lost their lives or the children whose lives have been so changed I feel too many things to describe, I feel grief, I feel sorrow, I feel anger at the man who pulled the trigger, I feel amazement that something this big has happened… like so many others, I feel too much to put into words. 

When Jun wants to do something that I deem unsafe, I tell him no.  And when he questions why he can't do it, I tell him it's because it's unsafe.  We've had the conversation so many times now that he often finishes my thought by quoting me, "and my biggest job is to keep you safe", he says in a mocking tone.  When we walked through Lena's orphanage yesterday I found myself wondering if the orphanage staff had any doubts about sending her with us to the US.  I wondered if they might think she won't be safe with us.  I wondered if they would maybe like us personally, but wonder if we had the ability to keep her safe in the US.   As an American I walk around with my head held high.  I have no doubt that I come from the greatest country in the world.  We live in a democracy and we are all allowed freedoms that people around the world envy.  For that I am grateful.

 In my home, I would love to allow my children to do anything and everything that makes them happy.  I would love to allow them the freedom to use my large sharp scissors if they wanted, but their safety is more important to me than their freedom so I make them use the kid scissors that really won't cut much of anything at all.    As an American I value my freedom.  But I also believe that the first job of the American government is to keep the citizens of the United States safe.  I know the guns used in this latest massacre were not purchased by the gunman, but I also know that the guns were purchased legally.   I have to wonder how the day may have been different if the gun laws in the US were more restrictive.  I would never ask the American Government to make the purchase of all guns illegal, but I would ask the American Government to take a look at the guns that are permitted and reconsider our laws using the safety of the citizens of the US as a priority.

I don't want to politicize the events of last Friday.  With the exception of the gunman, I don't blame any one person for what happened.  But, as with all tragedy, we need to take a serious look at what lead to these events and if there is something that can be done to help prevent anything like this from happening in the future then it is our duty to take the action necessary in hopes that it helps  to make sure this never happens again.